Meet Mandy

What led you into your work in counseling?

This is a huge question with a huge answer for me. It is my work and how I make my living. It is also so much more for me -- it is my calling. Like most human beings, I want to make a difference in the world. I want to help other people follow their passions and break through what keeps them stuck. Every personality test or career assessment I have taken through the years has always suggested that I pursue a career in counseling. It is a clear fit for my abilities, personality style, and how I see the world. My life experiences from childhood through adulthood have nurtured me toward counseling as a career. I know what it means to hurt, want to grow and have a better relationship with myself and others. It’s been for me a natural fit, a calling, and a way for my life experience to enrich me and others.

What do you see as a challenge that individuals or couples face today? How would you approach this type of challenge?

The challenge I see facing individuals and couples today is the same for both: to be able to fully claim the life the human being wants to live. We have a lot of pressure in our society, internal and external, to be successful, get “it” right, meet everyone else's needs, and meet our own expectations. People pursue therapy for a myriad of reasons. The common thread among all of those reasons being a desire to learn to listen to one’s own needs and speak those needs to important others. Often, couples get caught in cycles of arguing when their needs are not being met. What breaks that cycle is when couples speak their needs to each other rather than not saying anything while still expecting the person to change. I approach these issues by teaching people tools around how to communicate. I focus on empowering the individual to pursue what is true for him/her and ask significant others to negotiate.

What unique qualities do you have to offer your clients?

I have uncommon empathy. I can easily relate to others and their struggles. Having this quality allows me to easily build a relationship with the client and to allow the client to experience being heard and seen. When clients leave my office, I want them to know that they have been heard and that there are options and possibilities around whatever theme they have brought to our session. My uncommon empathy allows me to help infuse clients with hope and catalyze them around the possibilities in their life. I also have intense care for my clients. I am invested in their personal work and growth -- it passionately matters to me. My clients know that I am invested in them as an individual; therefore, my clients and I maintain a professional relationship with a tremendous amount of caring.

What are your areas of interest/specialty? What draws you to these areas?

I am passionate about women’s issues. I have an expertise in helping women grow their self-esteem, develop healthy relationships with themselves and claim their power. And, overall, I am interested in helping people work through grief, loss, unresolved childhood issues, depression, and anxiety. I have years of experience in helping people work through loss whether it be from childhood abuse, adult trauma, death, divorce or from changes such as relocation, job loss, and so on. My specialty is helping people claim their own personal power in life, regardless of the issues they bring to therapy. I am drawn to helping people break through old patterns and find new ways of relating to the world and relationships around them.

What have you learned from your clients?

Well, I've learned many things. I've learned that there are times in life that what matters most is not necessarily pursuing what is right but rather what is authentic, or real, and true. I've learned from my clients over and over that when they pursue what is authentic in their lives, they are emotionally healthier and even happier. I've also learned how huge the human heart is -- how much grief, loss, love, joy, hope, and reconciliation the human being can hold. It blows me away! I've learned how important it is for the human being to experience having their hurts, injustices, abuses, losses, joys, successes, victories, and recoveries heard and seen. As much as anything, I have learned that regardless of what therapeutic technique, theory, or style I use, what helps people become unstuck and grow is another human authentically caring and witnessing their story.

Meet Tammy

What led you into your work in counseling?

I became a counselor after being tremendously inspired by the impact that counseling and group therapy had on me 13 years ago after the death of my former husband. I sought therapy at that time to deal with grief issues which then unfolded into a continuing journey that I am still pursuing today. My whole perspective on life and on myself was changed, broadened and deepened. I was catalyzed, and still am catalyzed, and inspired to bring to others the life experiences, training and expertise I have to offer.

What are your areas of interest and specialty?

My interest, specialty, and experience lie mostly in working with issues related to grief and loss recovery. This includes all types of losses from death, divorce and childhood trauma to illness, job loss, and typical life transitions. I am passionate about fighting for the right to fully grieve our losses and to access our creative potential in the grieving process. My early training is in family therapy and I have years of experience working with couples and families around many marital and relationship issues. I also enjoy teaching individually and with my business partner, Mandy. She and I teach classes and facilitate groups related to loss recovery, women’s issues, relationships, and future direction.

What do you see as a difficult challenge that individuals face today?

There are so many challenges that individuals face as they live their lives in the world today. One struggle that I see people having so often is dealing with shame and guilt. For many of us, shame and guilt can destroy self-esteem and paralyze us from taking action of any kind in our lives. A lot of the shame and guilt we all face comes from having needs or desires that somehow go against the opinions, rights and wrongs, expectations or assumptions of people or institutions that we consider significant and meaningful. We do not like to disappoint people we care about nor face the judgment and possible rejection that may occur if we follow what we believe is best for us. Sometimes the opinions and judgments may also come from our own thinking and self-talk. As a result, we can easily begin to feel overwhelmed, hopeless, or trapped and not know what to do when all kinds of difficulties and stress arise in our relationships and within us.

What message do you have for people who feel overwhelmed by shame and guilt or other difficulties?

I believe that, with support, we can learn to deal with and befriend our struggles. I support individuals to move at their own pace, especially in therapy, and to deal with issues as they are ready. The choice to begin counseling is one that people are often unsure about and find hard to make. In my experience with clients, once the decision is made and they begin to feel comfortable with therapy, life-changing things can happen. I have also seen that, as people slowly begin to face their difficulties and get what they need in therapy, they can begin to find the healing they seek. I see life for all of us as a huge paradox of human experiences. It is full of beginnings and endings, moments of joy and sorrow, failures and successes, and times of grief and celebration.

As I continue to witness how painful these times can be, I also continue to witness and realize how creative the painful times can be for us too. I am not saying that "something good always comes out of something painful." My personal and professional experience in dealing with emotional pain has taught me that, while it can be frightening and sometimes excruciating to go through, dealing with painful issues very consciously and intentionally will yield creative gifts for us. The challenges, struggles, failures, tragedies and sorrows all can have their creative impact along with the joys, successes, celebrations and peaceful moments. For me and many people I have known, experiencing both sides of the paradox is what allows life to be rich, full, and most importantly, very real!

How has the work that you do with people impacted you?

It is an undeniable honor and privilege for me to hear the stories of so many people and to be a part of some of the pivotal and sacred moments in their lives. Over and over again, I have seen people face heartaches, all kinds of suffering, huge rips in relationships and losses of incredible magnitude. Yet, they have survived and woven into their lives huge courage and tremendous dignity -- not without all the tears, fierce trembling, kicking and screaming also -- but with the courage and the dignity that continues to affirm for me the truth about how resilient the human heart truly is. I am reminded that we can all hold much more pain and joy in our lives than any of us ever imagine.